yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
