she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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