Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
