can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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