Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
