Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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