This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
