we're blogging at a bar
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
