Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize