you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
