he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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