Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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