evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
