haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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