So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
