3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
