did you get engaged???
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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