somebody snuck up and got me drunk
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
