Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
third nipple confirmed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
