why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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