I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
