Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
