You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize