party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
