just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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