nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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