I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
