whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize