just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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