look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
