Its about making memories worth repressing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
