Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
