I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
