Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
