I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
