that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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