If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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