Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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