Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
