I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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