Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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