You're so nebulous sometimes
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
