I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
