my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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