Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
