So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
