is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize