U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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