Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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