drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
