I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
