I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do you remember whose house we're in?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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