Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
