It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
