If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I looked at my own cervix.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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