but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
