I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
