Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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