hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
