I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
