Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
